


Discontent

by dreamiflame



Category: Bend It Like Beckham (2002)
Genre: F/F, Yuletide 2003
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-12-16
Updated: 2003-12-16
Packaged: 2017-11-21 22:21:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/602701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreamiflame/pseuds/dreamiflame
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In America, everything is different for Jess and Jules.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Discontent

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Carmarthen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Carmarthen/gifts).



> Thanks to my beta.

Life in Santa Clara was very different from life in England: the people, the food, even the language, to some degree. Jess took a long time to adjust, but she did, finally, get into the rhythm of life in the States. Classes, football (training and matches), and other time. Generally she spent her other time with her roommate Jules.

Jules seemed very happy in America. They both were, mostly, but Jess had felt a strange sense of discontent growing in herself lately. Something was bothering her, and she didn't know what.

For weeks she watched everything around her carefully. After three, she finally realized as she was dozing off that what was bothering her was Joe.

Or rather, the lack of Jules' reaction to Joe.

Far from the girl who once called her a bitch and wouldn't speak to her for a month, Jules was overly solicitous of their relationship. She took phone messages, reminded Jess to check her mail or write letters back, and had listened to Jess talk about Joe for hours without complaining. Jess hadn't talked about Joe for a long time, caught up as she was with her life in America. All she had of Joe were memories, and occasional letters, and it was difficult to talk excitedly over the man without repeating herself.

She lapsed into silence on the subject, and watched how Jules behaved instead. It hit her quite suddenly that Jules still did not date, preferring instead to do things in groups of friends or just with Jess. If Jess turned down an invitation, Jules frequently did too. It was all starting to make Jess wonder just exactly what was going on, and remembering the earlier disasters they'd had, she decided to talk to Jules before making any judgements.

One night she looked up from her course work, focusing on her roommate. Jules was frowning at one of her books, a pen held loosely between her lips. Her hair fell into her eyes, as it often did, and exasperated, she shoved at it. Jules' hair had gotten much longer while they'd been in America, and at least once a day she mentioned cutting it off. So far, however, she hadn't followed through on her threat.

"Jules," she started, feeling suddenly shy as she tried to think of what to say. Jules looked up, her hair falling into her face again.

She sighed heavily and tucked the offending lock behind her ears. "I need to get this bloody stuff cut," she muttered, and smiled at Jess. "What's it?"

Her smile pulled an answering one from Jess, like it always did. Thinking hard, she said slowly, "I was wondering if you were still mad about, you know, Joe and I."

"Nah," Jules turned back to her book before Jess could see what expression was in her eyes. For some reason, that lack bothered Jess a lot more than she liked. "I mean, you're happy, right? And he is, too, and I'm glad for you both. You're my friends."

Jess bit her lips, trying not to let the words come out, but they did anyway. "But I thought you liked him!"

Jules turned back around, frowning. "What, d'you want me to be mad at you over Joe?"

"No!" But Jess had to pause. She didn't want Jules mad over _Joe_ , precisely, but part of her wanted Jules jealous over something.

Patiently, Jules watched her. Flustered, she looked down, and heard the creak of bedsprings that meant Jules had gotten up. Her bed sank slightly, and Jules wrapped an arm around her. "You aren't turning into my mum, are you?" she asked in a low voice, sounded amused and yet a wee bit scared of the very idea. "You aren't going to be hounding me about boys and dating and bras?"

Jess had to giggle at that. "No," she said finally, looking up to meet Jules' eyes. Her hand fell naturally into Jules', their fingers entwining comfortably. "I just wondered, that's all."

"Well, now you know." Jules squeezed her fingers once more, then disentangled herself, moving back over to her bed. Jess felt cold without Jules' arm around her. "Now I really have to finish this or Professor Morgan's going to kill me." And that was the end of it, Jess told herself, going back to her homework.

It didn't erase the empty feeling of discontent, though.

She spent more time watching Jules and wondering what was making her unhappy with her friend. For her part, Jules seemed not to notice the scrutiny, smiling and joking with Jess as she always did. There was something there, though, flashes of things that Jess saw too briefly to make heads or tails of. A look here, a word or two there, and Jules couldn't be as oblivious as she seemed, if she was trying to give Jess hints.

Jess only wished she could figure out what the hints were.

Thanksgiving came, that baffling American holiday that shut down the dorms and sent Jess and Jules to stay with a teammate who lived nearby for the weekend. Stuffed with turkey and other foods, they went back to the room they were sharing, draping themselves across the bed languorously. Jules propped her head up on her hand, elbow raising her away from the bed. "I can't move," she confessed, and Jess laughed, because she couldn't either.

Their heads were close together on the pillow when Jules lay down, and Jess could feel the heat from Jules' body all along her side. Jules flung an arm dramatically over her face, and Jess took the opportunity to really look at her roommate. Something was niggling at her, all the pieces quivering with the desire to fall into place. It would only take a little push, just a nudge, but Jess found herself reluctant to let them. Then Jules lifted her arm, and the last piece was in her eyes.

Gasping, Jess sat up, holding her stomach as her body protested the sudden move. "Jess?" Jules sounded alarmed, and her hands were warm and gentle on Jess' back. "Jess, are you ok?" She brushed the back of her fingers across Jess' cheeks and forehead, frowning. "You seem hot. Let me get the thermometer."

Shaking her head, Jess clutched at Jules' hands. "No," she said, and held on despite Jules' protests. She didn't need their teammate's mother in here fussing, not when she'd finally figured it out.

"If you're sure," Jules said dubiously, and freed one of her hands to rub in soft, calming circles over Jess' back. "You probably ate too much, right?"

"Right," Jess said, and to her, her voice sounded oddly distant. Jules didn't seem to notice. "Jules," she started, feeling a slight terror and a desperate hope uncurling inside of her, "d'you like me?"

Jules laughed. "Of course I like you. You're my best friend."

"No, I mean, _like_ me. The way you used to like Joe."

The hand on Jess' back continued to rub in small, steady circles, but Jules' other hand had started to shake in Jess' grip. "Yeah," Jules whispered, and for the first time since she'd known her, Jules sounded scared.

Jess nodded, turning to look at Jules. The same fear was in her eyes, but Jules looked back at her, steadily. Jess thought about it again, letting all the pieces show what she realized she should have guessed ages ago. It was harder to focus on Joe with Jules in front of her. "I like you, too," she confessed, and the smile that lit up Jules' face was simply and unutterly beautiful.

It was a shy kiss, twisted over Jess' shoulder, so it was short, but full of promise. Jess smiled as she held Jules' hand, laying back down on the bed. This changed things, of course, but somehow, Jess had a great hope that it was for the better.


End file.
